A Lesson I Learned the Hard Way

I had one a very scary thing happen to me one Saturday night in late September. I was waiting for the Uber driver just outside J and P Pizza on Butler Rd. The guy pulled up and asked me if I was the passenger that he was supposed to pick up. I told him that I called for a vehicle about ten minutes beforehand.  He got out of the car in order to help me put the walker in trunk. While doing so, he touched my right arm ever so gently.  I got in the car and sit in the seat. The guy got into the driver's side, held out his hand and asked me my name. I said "my name is Lauren." I put my hand in his and he held my hand for about five seconds and did not move. The guy then asked me if I am below age of eighteen. I told him "no." He then tried to guess my age again. On his second guess, he placed my age at twenty four years old. I then made the decision to just tell him that my age at this point. The driver then started the car.

We began going down the road, and then the guy started the conversation up again. He said "I am fifty four and you are thirty." "You are beautiful, and I am old." Then he asked me if think that he is the best Uber driver that I have ever had.  I told him that everyone I have ever had the pleasure of riding with has been five stars. The guy got all excited and said "thank you." He then went on a rant about the treatment of riders towards drivers sometimes. About halfway from my house, he told me that I seem rather nice. This guy then asked if I was a student in school. I said that I graduated Mount Saint Mary's University. He then told me a little story about going out to dinner with a friend in Emmitsburg a few days prior. I told him that my father loved a restaurant called Mountain Gate. The driver then stated "loved, I am sorry to hear that your father passed away."

The conversation then switched to hobbies. I told him that I play music every now and then. The driver told me about his position as an acoustic guitarist in a band that covers classic rock from the seventies and eighties. I told him that one of my strings is broken, and that I have to replace it. The driver wanted to help me put a new string on the guitar. I told him not worry about it because my brother is coming down the next day and would help me with it. We finally reached my place a few minutes later. I got out of the car while the driver retrieves the walker from the trunk. He then asked if he can hold my hand again. I offered my hand to him once more. The driver then said that he had a feeling that I will be a good guitar player one day because I had nice hands. I then started heading inside the house and shut the door. I also locked the door, and I waited until the car left the court.

There are two possible reasons that this guy seemed extremely “friendly.”  The first reason is that he thought I was attractive in some way.  I have been told by others in the past that I have a very calm nature, and they feel better just be around me.   I do not think I am super pleasant in any way.  I am not horrible by any means, but I am not anything out of the ordinary as far looks or attitude goes.  I am not sure why this guy liked me so much. 

The only other reason that comes to mind is my disability.  Maybe this older guy thought about doing something evil to me, but decided against it because I held an intelligent conversation.  In other words, I did not show any signs that I was mentally challenged.  Hopefully this driver never comes across anyone who is mentally unsound because he might end up hurting him or her.

This whole incident made me more cautious about the company that I keep regardless if it is short or long term.  Some people in the world might take advantage of those who are disabled in some way.  If a person learns to trust in his or her own gut, then he or she can avoid situations such as the one I experienced.  I should have listened to my gut the moment he touched my hand while putting the walker in his car.  The driver seemed a bit too generous, I was lucky that nothing bad happened during the ride home.  Always make sure that you are comfortable being in the presence of a person before doing anything with him or her.  If you do not have a good feeling right off the bat, then this means that something is obviously wrong.  Stay safe and keep pushing forward. 

Little Things Do Matter

Life sometimes teaches that the little things in life do matter.  This can be seen in everyday occurrences.  I use the UIber cell phone car service quite often.  After the driver pulls up to my place, they usually try to help get in his or her vehicle.   These people always want to help me put my walker in the trunk, but they are clueless how to fold the apparatus so that it will fit. I then show the drivers how everything works, and we both laugh.  

During the actual ride, the drivers will ask about my disability.  Some think that I have the condition known as Multiple Sclerosis, but I tell them that I have Cerebral Palsy.  I also give a short detailed explanation of how my disability affects me.  The drivers are always impressed at how high functioning I seem to be.  They also tell me that I have a great attitude for someone with my condition. 

In some instances, these people will tell a story about a troubling time in their lives as well.  One lady that drove to me to a local diner in the neighborhood suffered blindness due to high blood pressure during pregnancy.  She went completely blind for six months.  The doctors thought that she would never recover.  A miracle somehow transpired, and she regained her sight.  This person once again sees things without any major issues. 

As long as a person keeps trying to go for the things he or she wants in life, then the possibilities are endless.  If I let my disability dictate what I could or could not do, then my life would feel very difficult and limited.  The rough parts of life exist to help people grow stronger.  They show us that we are capable of much more than we realized previously.  The trick about rough patches in life is that they all start out as something small and expand outward.  Nothing big ever just hits somebody out of the blue.  The only reason why someone believes that something came from out of nowhere is because he or she was not open to the smaller changes taking place all around him or her.  When a person ignores change, then his or her point of view remains stagnant.  Change is always happening, but people fail to see it because they have their own agenda about how things are supposed to be.  Things are not supposed to be any way at all.  I can either see my disability as a limitation, or I can see it as something that sets me free. 

Cerebral Palsy has allowed me to be more open about my life with others.  It gets people to think about and ask questions beyond mundane things.  My disability invites conversations from others who might not have spoken to me if I were able-bodied. 

The little things in life do matter because everything has the potentiality for change to occur.  I made the Uber drivers rethink their position about what it means to have a disability.  Anyone can change the world, but he or she must act on his or her thoughts for the desired result to happen. 

Shopping for Shoes can be a Chore

The issue of Cerebral Palsy can be quite the dilemma on a day to day basis.  The disability always reminds me that the simple things in life are the most important.  My trip to a discount department store was a rather nerve racking and tiresome experience. 

I live in a county within the central Baltimore area. I was in desperate need of some new shoes due to tearing a hole in the left shoe of my old pair.  I tend to drag my left foot a little when I walk.  My posture in regards to my left foot is not the greatest in the world.  I tend to wear out the big toe area of my left shoe regardless of which pair I am wearing at the time.  The hole was big enough for a finger to touch my toes without any kind of issue.

 I decided to take a ride up to my local Target store.  I finally reached the store around 5 P.M. one Tuesday evening.  I went over to the shoe department only to realize only a single pair of shoes was in my size.  The benches that the store had were extremely small.  I barely had enough room to sit down let alone struggle with putting on a cramped pair of shoes.  I tried getting my right foot into a shoe first, and could not complete the task whatsoever.  I sat in the shoe department for fifteen minutes trying to get the right shoe on my foot until I finally decided to call it a day and go home.  I might have had an easier time if the bench I was sitting on had more room, but there was nothing I could do.  I realized that I should have just purchased shoes online.  I left the store empty handed that evening

This whole ordeal my not seem so huge to some, but it is quite the mountain when one does not have a solid pair of shoes to wear outside of the home.  Most shoe companies only seem to cater to those with larger feet.  The experience at my local Target store made me feel like a second class citizen to some degree.  I only hope that things change for the better in the future.